A sliver of light glaring through the crack in the wall. Beneath this wall meets the edge of my foundation. And I stand here exposed and naked. My feet lay flat upon the surface, my eyes fixed on this beaming light. My breasts lay sweat upon my chest, my hair lays untouched and mangled. Nothing is left to be unveiled, here I am. This is all that I'm made of. Left to desire the lacking, Left to need more than what is given. Always hungry, always naked; I am left to be detected. Left to perceive I'm alone in this concealed world but I'm stubborn. I stare out so curious, this light tempts my need to draw near. Cold water beneath my feet I step out delicately. Each step a bite to feed my hunger. And with each step I recover. My skin radiates the heat of this light and this stone cast mold begins to unfold. My body is released from all barriers. My back arches inward and my body leans toward the crack in the wall. Unclothed I kneel to my knees, placing each hand on either side of this light and I peak in with one eye near to see. And as if to be weak and unbalanced as water the wall gives into the pressure and my body is shot out to fall. And the once bright light I so craved to see is dark and cold and raining over me. On my back naked I lay wet by the rain and left tired by my own strength. Maybe this unknown was not left to be discovered. The grass stands tall, blowing wet side to side so swift above me. My body lays beneath everything, rested gently on the surface I was so fiercely gifted. My hands hold close my breasts to cover. My eyes may shut to each exiting breath and my legs lay on flat on the gravel. And with each new breath inhaled my eyes may open to glance at the grey clouds moving slowly above it all. Whats missing? Whats wrong? Whats left to complete whats left of me? A sliver of light beaming out from the clouds? I lay out to dry and the birds are coming out. As the light grows stronger more and more I see of whats encasing me. Yet so vulnerable I may be. My eyes must adjust and my muscles lay so tense. I roll my head on its side to rest, my hands fall heavy from my breasts and I see the wall that has collapsed. So weak I have become laying here with no desire for it to matter. I am only surviving here. The light widens and the clouds thin out slowly illuminating the blossoms of small yellow flowers at the ends of the steps crawling above me. Waving side to side so swift and calm. Rested I begin to feel the bumps of my chill sink and spread back inside of me.My skin so pure so polished and smooth, keeps me together in this oh so separated world. The breeze hits my chest and neck like warm breath down my body and I still crave the warm embrace of another. Someone to fill this absence of desire. Someone to make me love again, make me strong and make it matter.
A man so gentle and firm. So guilty I feel for the feelings I cant shake. And this strange sense of comfort, so lost in fixation, so drawn to the unknown. And why is this that Ive changed so? He brings close all that I felt was lost.
Alone, there is no purpose in this world. In a world without meaning everything falls into shadow no matter how light. What difference does it make for me to stand above where I lay? Everything is going to change anyway. How I urn for his tender protection. The tall grass straps me to this land left barren as my body, I need to find my reason, my purpose and stand. Slowly I sit up to a kneel. I look out in all directions, vast and wide it is so empty but I no longer feel alone. A new spark of interest I have found. The will to move on after struggle.
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